On Google maps when you are looking for a particular convenience – supermarket, nearest IKEA, petrol station – you are often faced with a chickenpox map of the area. Hover over these dots and you will get a very short synopsis of the place – name , number of Google reviews, maybe a ‘star’ rating and a few bullet points of detail.

Quite often this information is utterly useless (you’d feel pretty safe in making an assumption about what a petrol station might sell). But when it comes to pubs, this three second hover can be the difference between a ‘pint at a push’ or moving the mouse elsewhere.

Some of the poorer examples say things like “Marlborough Arms. Wetherspoons – pints,” and “Fox Craft Beer House. Roof terrace – mackerel.”

Odd, but concise. And you definitely know to avoid the Marlborough Arms and to head to the Fox Craft on that odd occasion when you fancy a Doom Bar and some stinky fish.

Similarly, The Newman Arms’ bullet points draw you in immediately;

‘upstairs pie room – steak and kidney pudding – george orwell – peeping tom – homemade pies’

Five bullet points. Three pie references. That means this pub is theoretically 60% pie focused! And this isn’t far from the truth…

Whilst the ground floor of the Newman Arms concentrates on being a pub – and a ruddy nice one at that – the top floor is the designated ‘Pie Room’ (so 50% pie?).  And we’re talking proper pies as well, not lies*.

Many of your proper pub reviews might focus on the fact that George Orwell and Dylan Thomas used to drink here. But I question whether the majority of pub drinkers are really that bothered. They drank all over the place, probably. And whilst many people might be able to name an Orwell book, very few would be able to name anything by Dylan Thomas, and I include myself in that. If you want to feel close to literary people go to a library…

Is it perhaps a little bit more interesting and relevant that this pub serves six or seven ales at all time and has an official pie menu? Yes. Are people more interested that the Newman Arms is very close to Goodge Street station and a handful of other half-decent pubs? Of course. And is it vastly more important that you can still get hold of their 2013 Christmas menu online? Obviously…

I don’t encourage you to always make your pub choices off the basis of the five word reviews on Google maps (that would make this review even more pointless than it already is). But it’s worth checking all the same…

*For those not familiar with the difference. A meat pie has pastry all the way around – top, bottom and side. A meat lie is usually found in a ceramic bowl and just has a puff pastry top. This is not a pie. This is a lie.